Hello, everyone!
Welcome to this episode of the podcast provided by the Buddhas’ Practice Incorporated of Australia.
Have you ever deeply contemplated one of the most fundamental questions: What is our true identity?
Understanding our identity and knowing our roles is crucial. Only then can we exhibit correct words and deeds in life and in our interactions with others. This is especially true within the family, where, as children, do we truly know how to treat our parents?
The Paradox of Control and Unconditional Love
Many times, we claim we can’t control our emotions or the words we say, especially towards our parents. We might speak loudly and later feel regret or a wish to repent. But here lies a profound contradiction: if we truly can’t control ourselves, would we similarly lose control and speak harshly to a violent burglar?
No, we would be extremely cautious, filled with reverence, and wouldn’t dare to offend them. What does this prove?
It proves that we are not truly out of control; we selectively choose when to control ourselves. We choose to vent in front of our parents because we know they will forgive us infinitely and love us unconditionally. This behavior isn’t a loss of control; it’s a precise act of control, a willful indulgence built on our parents’ love and tolerance.
However, is this normal behavior? Absolutely not! In the entire world, you won’t find another person who will love and tolerate you as unconditionally and selflessly as your parents. A parent’s love is unique. It is precisely because of their tolerance and love that we dare to engage in such unappreciated behavior. This lack of appreciation, this attitude of losing our temper with the people who love us the most, is something we should deeply reflect on. This is what Buddhism refers to as “affliction,” and it destroys all our good causes, good conditions, and good fruits.
The Essence of Respect
In our daily lives, friction and misunderstandings often arise from a lack of respect. People are often stubbornly opinionated due to “ignorance,” believing they are always right, demanding how others should behave, and insisting on how they themselves must act. All of this stems from a mutual lack of respect.
So, what is true respect?
Respect isn’t about judging whether someone’s posture, clothing, or other personal choices are “pleasing” or “normal.” True respect is accepting others as they are. When you truly respect someone, you won’t get angry over any of their actions or behaviors. You will view each of their actions as their “best” choice in that moment. Even if it seems “incorrect” to you, you should respect their right to choose. Of course, if they ask for your opinion, you can explain why a certain action might be wrong, but ultimately, after they make a decision, we must still respect and accept it. Think about it: we show great respect to a violent burglar because we don’t dare to offend them, yet we are often rude to the people closest to us, the ones who love us the most. Isn’t this a misinterpretation and deviation from what respect truly is?
Personal Responsibility and Self-Cultivation
We should not constantly compare or find fault in others. Everyone will be responsible for their own actions and bear their own karma. We should focus on building and improving ourselves. When we improve ourselves, we will naturally bring about a positive influence. Don’t concern yourself with how others build their future; that is their karma. We ourselves will bear the consequences of our own good and evil deeds.
Conclusion
Let us, starting today, re-examine our inner selves and deeply understand our identity and roles. Learn to truly respect others, especially those who love and tolerate us unconditionally. Only then can we genuinely control our words and actions, eliminate our afflictions, and build a harmonious, loving world. Thank you.
