Expectation promises comfort, but it plants the fuse of resentment inside every hope we carry.
Why is Expectation the breeding ground for resentment?
Because the moment we hold an “it should be this way,” any deviation ignites anger. Parents who expect their children to excel — pushing them relentlessly at the piano — often end up breaking both the child’s spirit and their own peace. The talent withers, and the child gives up on it entirely.
What does it mean to be trapped in an Expectation-view?
It means projecting our own definitions onto reality — a delusion detached from what is actually there. Like insisting tofu is a premium building material and trying to build a house out of it: all you get is a pile of crumbling tofu, and you’re left cursing it every day.
Many people never grasp the real situation around them. They invest, decide, and act on nothing but a passing impulse, a feeling, a fantasy. Trusting delusion, following mood — this is the true root of suffering. Decisions made this way are bound to collapse.
Living By What Is
What does seeing things as they are look like with people?
Like Mei Changsu in Nirvana in Fire, who sees each person’s true nature clearly enough to never misassign a task. Push someone like Feiliu to sit still and do homework, and you’ll only exhaust yourself with rage; see him as he actually is, and he finds exactly where he belongs.
And in the material world?
Crude oil isn’t plastic. It isn’t gasoline or asphalt. People learned its true properties by seeing it as it is, then shaped it — adding elements, changing conditions — until it became, seemingly out of nothing, the plastics we use every day. None of that came from wishing. It came from working with what’s actually true.
Putting It Into Practice
Practice isn’t somewhere far away. It lives in this small thing, this next thought, right now. Real learning means understanding a principle precisely enough to follow it — not skimming a page and calling it done.
To grow one flower well, you have to know — exactly — what it needs in water, nutrients, and timing at every stage of its life. You can’t dump three years’ worth of fertilizer in at once to save yourself the trouble, and you can’t water it today and forget it tomorrow on a whim. Write the rule down. Set the alarm. When it rings, follow it exactly — no dragging your feet, no giving in to mood or laziness.
It comes down to this. Seeing things as they are — that is peace. Trusting delusion, following mood — that is suffering.
Abiding in Truth: The Heart of Right Speech | Daily Reflection
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