An Affair: Self-Destruction in the Flame
A disciple fell into an extramarital affair and was overwhelmed by deep suffering, and thus sought guidance from the Master. The following is the Master’s teaching:
Suffering Confirms the Truth of the Dharma
All the pain you are going through right now fully confirms that what the Buddha taught is absolutely true. The Dharma teaches that craving and attachment are the very root of suffering. Once you fall into emotional entanglement and your desires are not met, blame, resentment, and hatred inevitably arise, which in turn leads to a chain of negative karma. Once this karma is created, you will have no mental strength left for practicing the Dharma, and your spiritual life will be ruined. Such entanglement not only makes your own life agonizing, but it also completely wrecks your studies, your career, and your normal daily life. Your current experience has proven beyond doubt that once you step into this trap of sensual desire, you cannot expect peace or happiness—there will only be continuous suffering.
Dissolve and Lighten This Karma with Urgency
Your most critical priority right now is to find a way to break through and resolve these issues as soon as possible. You must wear down this karma through sincere repentance until very little remains. Even if you cannot wipe it clean all at once, you must at least lighten it. If you do not resolve it now, it will keep surfacing over and over to cause trouble. If it suddenly strikes again in your future career, daily life, or studies, you will be in far deeper trouble. As long as you diminish this karmic force through repentance, its destructive power will be significantly weakened, and it will no longer block your path ahead.
Prevent Relapse and Remove Obstacles
Both of you carry heavy habitual tendencies of sensual desire. As long as these tendencies are not broken, they will periodically resurface in your workplace or family life, wrecking everything you have built. Whenever this karmic force flares up, it will cloud your mind completely: you will lose sight of your own position and the other person’s status, and even forget all the agonizing pain you suffered in the past. You will then fall back into the exact same vicious cycle—craving what you want, harboring resentment when you cannot get it, and causing endless chaos. Therefore, you must do everything you can to wear down this karmic force. Only when it is dissolved will you keep a clear mind, allowing your future work, life, and studies to unfold smoothly and without obstruction.
May everyone stay mindful and clear-headed, stay far away from the suffering of affairs and emotional entanglements, and protect the peace and harmony of their home and daily life.